Recently, I learned that there aren't a lot of places to "hang nude" in Tulsa.
I'm not even sure what kind of place a nudist wants to hang out at - the beach maybe?
While I'm just *certain* you've contemplated this concerning lack of opportunity in our community, I'm betting you're probably wondering how I found out this utterly *devastating* news.
It all began with peer pressure... and a sick sense of curiosity
In one word - BUMBLE.
Now hang with me for a second while I explain how we got here. Part of my job is to report to and work with several boards which I am blessed to say are full of truly exceptional human beings! One of the most enjoyable aspects of this work is getting to know all of these individuals by going to lunch or breakfast and talking a little more about life than "shop". The men are so respectful and not a single one of them have ever asked about whether I have a boyfriend or am dating.
CAN YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING?
But us women, we go there! It's always out of genuine interest and support, but almost every woman has asked if I'm dating. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. the answer "no" returns the question, "have you tried online dating?" My colleague Kim, who happens to be one of my best friends, has been on these lunches with me and she so wonderfully chimes in about a relative who has made a pastime of reading people's online dating profiles.
It only took three conversations to pique my curiosity
I should probably be ashamed... 1) that it only took three conversations to fold to peer pressure; 2) that I started a dating profile without the intention of dating; and 3) that I'm judging other people's profiles for personal enjoyment.
I did put together a real profile (but the first photo is almost a year old)!
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against other people finding someone online - I know more than one outstanding, long-term marriage that has resulted from online dating. There are several Christian, professional, incredibly handsome, outdoorsy guys on there.
BUT let's be honest, the first time you meet in person has to feel kind of like a blind date and, if you know me in real life at all, I'm a hand full and that's just not fair to these poor guys!
Online dating isn't for me and here's why:
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM ONLINE DATING PROFILES
1 - "I'm a nudist in Tulsa... which is funny because there's not a lot of places to hang nude in Tulsa lol."
So what qualifies one as a nudist in a non-nudist community... no wait, PLEASE don't answer that.
2 - "Fun, business professionals, long time married couple, exploring more. Seeking a lady to spoil..."
I simply have no words.
3 - "We are a very happily married ethically non-monogamous couple..."
And I'll stop right there - aside from the fact that you don't know how to use commas,
thank you for the education on how other people live... SWIPE LEFT.
Bonus - "No kids, never married, and cootie free. Wow!"
This one is actually cute and clever, so all I'll say is: "it's good to be Cootie Free - glad the circle, circle, dot, dot worked for you!"
Now to answer the most common question in my life
No, I'm not dating anyone and, despite the cultural education I've received from Bumble, I don't intend to keep my dating profile. I will, however, pray diligently for the sanity of the man God might nudge to date me. I mean that both humorously and genuinely - that he is Christ-centered, family-focused, hard-working, fun-loving, respectful and respectable. Hopefully, cootie-free and *not* a nudist...
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